Family Counseling

If Robert Frost wrote a volleyball poem it would be about choices. Problem is, he already wrote a pretty cool poem about choices so I'll just write about it. While our great sport has done nothing but grow and become more and more popular across all levels, it has also become more complex and difficult for families to navigate. If athletics are eliminated from the equation, choices regarding education and other activities for our children have gotten more abundant and, often more difficult. There is simply more noise for parent to deal with. 

Add the gasoline of youth sports to the mix and parents suddenly have more parenting stress on their hands than is recommended by those of us who hope our game is enjoyed. Part of 4U's mission is to assist families through the minefield of competitive youth volleyball. Rather than a minefield, lets just call it the 'unknown'. This great unknown for you was also a great unknown for me in the Bicentennial Year of 1976 when I arrived to Paul Harding HS and was introduced to volleyball and had zero idea of the world that was coming. Fast forward 47 years and this game has been my profession and those decades of experience can benefit YOU. I only consult for organizations, I no longer work for them. I work for players. 

What help does 4U offer you? 

• I have made every mistake that I can help you NOT make. 
• I have seen every mistake that I can help you NOT make. 
• I have had every success that I'd love to help you achieve. 
• I have no agenda. I have no biases. 
• Only your goals matter to 4U, no one else's. 
• You and your family will receive absolute honesty from me.
• I believe in your health and happiness, above all. This is the HORSE that must drive the cart. You WILL love this game and getting better and your family will sense that! 

Fees....always TBD and determined after initial consult. 

Questions families often struggle with?  

• Assist with selection of school or club                                                                     Today's landscape allows for much more freedom in selection of not only what volleyball club one might wish to play, but also what school, or even homeschool. If you are a family who combines a strong interest in education, as well as athletics, then congratulations to you! You are setting your child up for success. Many, many studies show that strong students who also compete on athletics are more hireable and stronger employees. You selection of school, and even sports club, does matter. 4U can help you make great decisions, not just obvious choices that the masses make. 
• What team should I accept, JV or Varsity; a 1s Team vs. a 2s Team?                        This is a common, and very challenging situation thousands of athletes face every year and determining the correct answer requires and very deep dive into the all the available factors. No one should ever say this is a super-easy decision, though at times we might get lucky. There are a large number of trade-offs that must be considered and having someone unbiased review these trade-offs can be very helpful. These trade-offs are things like playing time differences; preferred position issues; coaching/training benefits; next-season considerations; etc. These are just a few obvious factors among numerous unique areas that pop up. Making abrupt decisions that end up wrong can be devastating and cost an athlete a full year. 
• How good am I? What position am I best suited? My coach wants me to play middle...should I?                                                                                                                            These are just a few examples of hundreds of great questions that have been asked over the years. And, these questions MUST be asked at some stage and they must be directed toward someone trusted and knowledgeable. If you ask your aunt she will tell you how great you are. If you ask your neighbor what position you should play, they will ask you what position you want to play and that will be your position. They will want you to be happy. If you tell the wrong person that your coach wants you to play middle and you don't want to they will immediately begin defending you. Well, the coach is the coach. They will tell you where you play. If you want to train in a different position that's your right and needs to be done on your own time.                                                                                            

Every example drafted above has been communicated numerous times over my professional volleyball career. So many dramatic mistakes have occurred due to families listening to the wrong people, usually those with obvious biases and conflict of interests. These people often mean well. However, they naturally have the interest of other entities as a priority and that's just fine. They should. That is their mission. Your mission is your family. 4U exists so you have that safe place to get advice from someone who has decades of experience.